It's perfectly normal for partners to disagree. To a certain extent, it's okay to do this in front of your kids too, as it gives them a realistic image of the world. However, when these squabbles turn into frequent fights, they can emotionally damage your child.
Research suggests that kids as young as 6 months can register their parent's distress! So, while the relationship that parents have with their kids is important, the relationship parents share with each other also affects the child's wellbeing and growth.
These 5 tips will surely help you keep calm in front of your little ones:
Prioritize your kids over concerns. We all know how unpredictable fights are. However, agreeing to address these issues when your kids are not around is the best way to protect them.
Write down your emotions. If you have an urgent concern that can possibly turn into a fight, send it over text instead of speaking it out loud. Delivering concerns in a written format reduces their emotional power, which is what usually ignites a fight.
Own your feelings. Start every concern with 'I'. This not only prevents blame games with your partner but also teaches your kids to communicate properly. It helps take ownership of your feelings. *Eg: "I felt disappointed when you didn't ask me about my important meeting."
Make sure the kids see you make up. If your kid saw you and your partner fighting, then make sure they see you resolve the fight too! It conveys that disagreement is not the end of the world and relationships can heal with effort.
Assure your children. Kids often feel that their thoughts impact others (especially their parents). It's important to assure them that the fight is by no means their fault.
Remember, you and your partner are on the same team. Let your kids know that their parents love them no matter what!